Category Archives: Thought

Sheryl Sandberg – Lean In (Part 3)

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In the 2nd chapter: Sit at The Table, Sheryl slapped me with her blatant truth about psychological tendencies that woman have. Something that might seems obvious, but we often reluctant to admit (like the institutional obstacles are not enough -.-“)

As woman, we rarely think about deserving achievement, position, or even compliment. We often give lower scores to ourselves about anything, while men do the reverse. Eventhough we’re good at something, we usually haunted by insecurity that we’re not good enough, there’s still a lack of something, and so on. When somebody congratulates us for a good news that they heard, we feel that we already being fraudelent and fooled them. When a plan gone aint as we wish, we always search the bad side and drop into a great degree (compared to men, who even can take that so easily). And know what? To complete all those messy feelings, these mental problems for women could take very serious impact for a long time. Oh, well~

And yea.. anyway, I got a new term from this chapter, that is: Impostor syndrome – phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt. Coz, for example, even when a woman was offered an executive position in a company, while everybody thinks that she is the fittest person for it, she herself might think hundred times more than man to receive and say “yes, I’m ready”. Hufft~

I think everybody should know this. Be a woman and a leader is not easy. We really need to adjust our intellectual and emotional capacity. Me myself is gonna practice more each day.. to think slightly like a man.. just feel good about achievement, regardless to its imperfection.. give higher scores to myself and feel deserve about many great things.. to not so desperate when bad luck comes… courage to take risks and make any opportunities fit for us… enjoy the life, coz the ups and downs are unavoidable. Just let it flow, Hani.. just let it flow.. not go with the flow, but GROW with the flow.. coz your happiness is all depend on you.
Wish me tons of lucks. Cheers!

Lean In – Part 2

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Finished the first chapter of the book and found that every sentence was essential. Its impossible for me to re-write it all here, rite? So please, grab the book and read it by yourself. Its enlightning for both men and women. By economic base, Sheryl did the numeric approach, explained facts by using data but still by sharing more about her own experience as well. Throwed me back to my childhood when i was almost always be top of the class, and be the leader for all, while many other girls also did. It proved that we all have the chance to be number one, not restricted to specified genre. But where are they when they grew up? How many women take the executive positions now? This chapter showed a lot, even in the international business circle! Stereotype threat we could say. When being ambitious for women seems negative, when our biology demands that we have children while during the same time our career demands maximum time investment, when our surrounding warns that we cant be committed to both our families and careers, when barrier is all we see to aspire, lets start to ask ourselves: What Would We Do If We Weren’t Afraid?

Lean In – Sheryl Sandberg (Part 1)

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lean-In-1

I was considering about which book I should read first, Steve Jobs autobiography or this Sheryl Sandberg’s, then my choice goes to this one, because its page aint even reach 31% of the competitor, haha… 217 over 716.

Actually I just read the foreword of this “Lean In”, but be in love in an instant. Sheryl is such a role model for any women who want to pursue career in technology industry, moreover in this global world. She is one of the men behind Google’s success, started from it was still a startup company in early 2000, and how she through many barriers to reach the top (until become the COO of Facebook) is something that could encourage and empower women, even when we have a family and responsible to our child. I like the part when she said “I do not believe that there is one definition of success or happiness. Not all women want career, not all women want children. Not all women want both”. And it is really true. I saw many of my married women friends are fully being a housewifes, not passionate to make a career, yet they’re (seem) happy. But for women who have potential and high expectations of making goals in life, and also ambitious to make progress for the better world, take a role in top position could give us strong and powerful voice to speak out about our needs and concerns.

Women face too many complex challenges, not to mention our own internal obstacles. As a moslem, I’m not fully support the feminist manifesto or equality in any aspects, but as an individual (who also want to achieve many things in life), by reignite the revolution, I hope more people will understand about our desire, so that could help us to ease the burden that we-have-manage-all-aspects-at-home-while-other-activities-are-only-choices.

I hope my future husband read this book (hehe..) and become please to share more things, include to do more at home (be a real partner) then we can compromise the gap, while support each other, so we can be not only happy as a family, but also happy as a person 🙂

Read all my books review here >>

NB: Hey, i just knew something! If we want to make a comment in reading progress of Goodreads, we’re just allowed to write in no more than 420 characters! While when I’m just read 10 first pages of a book, I can even review (as you see above) multiple times of the limit. So I think post it on blog is a good option.

Anyway… The more I know about Sheryl, the more I adore. From workplace to home, college to world most respected company, anything. And the TIME magazine cover below is one of the most powerful pictures of her, so I print it and use it as a wall poster in my room. What do you think? 😀

sheryl-sandberg-time-magazine-cover

And readers, if you are also a women who lean in, you can join to LeanIn.org , a non-profit organization that Sheryl founded to empower all women to achieve their ambitions. Lets struggling together! *cheers* 😀

Research = Lonely?

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Once, me and Pak Moko were talking about our mate, Listra, who rarely coming to our meeting in recent times. After sending her an email, finally she replied and said that she couldnt join yet again because she was busy doing research and that was kind of lonely. And can you guess what is Pak Moko’s response about it? Here it is…

capture-20140108-114952
One of my professor used to say, jokingly, “If it isn’t lonely, it isn’t research.” When I’m doing research I like to work alone, too … but it is not necessarily a lonely endeavor. I always have half a dozen or so “experts” talking in my head — I call ‘em “the committee.”

Of course I still need to tell others –real persons– about what I’m doing, usually than happens at the Friday evening gathering by the Terrace (lake Mendota). It’s a very human thing to do, as Carl Sagan wrote his thought on science in his book (one of the 2014 reading list):
“Popularizing science – trying to make its methods and findings accessible to non-scientists – then follows naturally and immediately. Not explaining science seems to me perverse. When you’re in love, you want to tell the world. This book is a personal statement, reflecting my lifelong love affair with science.”
– “The Demon Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark” (Carl Sagan, 1996), p.278.
Moko/
++++

 

……….

So, what do you think? 😐

I try to understand, but, still, legitimate loneliness as part of a research sounds so pathetic for me 😐

Then I share with Giri, a friend of mine who has been living in Tokyo for several years, until we fortunately agree that it was really American culture, to work individually and based on a project. It will hardly to find  in Asia, who usually work collectively, or even sometimes involve their families.

Proses Branding

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Ada Ko Peri FO, ada Bob Maicih, ada om Wiwit C59. Mereka semua adalah orang-orang yang punya branding kuat terhadap produknya masing-masing. Apapun bisnis sampingannya, yang bisa aja ngasilin duit jauh lebih besar, tapi image yang sudah terbangun akan membuat mereka kembali pada perspektif tersebut.

Beruntunglah orang-orang itu yang sudah menemukan spesialisasi yang menghasilkan diferensiasi di pasar/masyarakat. Walaupun diyakini memang itu tidak terjadi begitu saja. Di luar usaha, kerja keras, teknis, dan modal, yang pasti ada keberuntungan, faktor X yang gak bisa diganggu gugat, murni berkah dari yang Maha Kuasa (atau bagi yang atheis, adalah hasil kesiapan-bertemu-kesempatan, atau ada yang bilang, pengaruh kosmos terhadap usaha kita – ala The Secret, intinya semesta mendukung lah).

Branding. Branding. Branding.

Muterrr terus di otak. Kita mau branding kayak apa?
Ada niat, tapi kan ujungnya tergantung hoki juga. Kalo masih muda, banyak yang bilang, “masih banyak waktu. Coba aja dulu segala macem”. Lah, jadi… Kita ngerencanain dulu mau branding kayak apa? Atau suka-suka aja, ntar juga nemu sendiri? Tapi kalo gitu artinya kita bakal ngejalanin sesuatu tanpa image yang kuat dulu di awal? Hahhh… Over thinking will kill you. Kebanyakan mikir, kalo tanpa action, emang gak bakal jadi apa-apa. Kadang kalo kebanyakan dipikirin juga emang tambah bingung sendiri. Kalo belum bisa branding produk emang bagusnya branding diri sendiri dulu. Dan kalo udah ngomongin personal branding, ya pasrah aja. Karena rasanya bukan sesuatu yang hal yang terbangun dalam sekejap juga. Tapi hasil akumulasi dari apa yang udah terjadi dari dulu. Personality & experiences. Walaupun sekarang sih gw pengennya dibranding dengan bidang usaha yang dibuat (yang sangat jauh image-nya dengan gw secara pribadi). Nah loh… Jadi mana yang duluan coba? Muter aja terus. Makanya udah dibilang gak usah kita pikirin aja lah ya :))

Balik lagi ke contoh sukses. Personal branding yang kuat juga kadang mengancam keberlangsungan perusahaan, ya nggak sih? Kang Emil (Ridwan Kamil) yang super eksis, katakanlah dari usaha jasa arsitekturnya, yaitu Urbane, namanya udah melekat sangat kuat. Artinya, bisa jadi mayoritas orang datang ke Urbane, karena nama besarnya beliau. Soo… the question is, what do you think will happen if he moves out from the company? Ya jelas bisa tetap jalan karena orang di dalamnya banyak. But the main image will change, I guess. Ya, anggaplah itu pertanyaan yang lain.
Lebih penting kuat di image pribadi atau image perusahaan? Ya,ya,ya. Pasti semua akan jawab itu saling mendukung. Tapi kalo disuruh milih mau lebih memperkuat yang mana? Karena kalo dari contoh di atas, memeperkuat image perusahaan akan lebih menjamin sustainability nya. Anggaplah foundernya wafat, gak akan terlalu banyak perubahan di pasaran. Ya begitulah…

Hey, ini mau ngomongin apa ya sebenernya? Ada kata “branding”, “spesialisasi”, dan “hoki”. Aha! Mungkin cuma ada satu kata yang bisa mengintegrasikan itu semua: FOKUS.

Hufffttt…

Aku memohon pada Tuhan, orang tua, dan kalian… Doakan jalan itu segera ditemukan. Kini sedang dalam perjalanan. Semoga semuanya dimudahkan. Yay!

08/10/12
Di kamar. Jam 12 malam.
Setelah percakapan bersama mas Yaya di acara perpisahannya sebelum kembali ke Bulukumba.

 

 

Disclosure: Ini adalah hasil repost dari http://hanirosidaini.blogspot.co.id/2012/12/proses-menemukan-spesialisasi.html untuk tujuan integrasi blog.

Dinamika Absolut

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Setelah melalui banyak peristiwa/kejadian, perubahan perasaan, sebab akibat, dan pemikiran, akhirnya gw sampai di titik ini. Titik dimana gw harus membuka diri bahwa segala sesuatunya adalah dinamis. Gak ada yang pasti, gak ada yang akan selalu sama. Statis itu bisa jadi semu. Cuma pintu dari pandangan yang belum terbuka, atau denial kita akan sesuatu.

Kali ini gw emang spesifik membicarakan hubungan antar manusia. Bagaimana orang baik gak akan selalu baik, bisa berubah gak sesuai dengan ekspektasi kita. Dan orang jahat juga bisa melakukan kebaikan, yang mungkin akan kita sangkal kalo kita emang udah ngasih cap buruk. Dan dalam konteks ini, gw punya kecenderungan yang kurang bagus. Dulu, kalo udah sebel sama orang, selalu keterusan. Apapun yang dia lakukan, bawaannya sebel aja terus, kesel, dan gak suka. Makanya kalo ada orang yang berselisih, gw gak mau ikutan. Contoh: si A sama B bermasalah. Karena emang secara objektif si B yang salah, gw bisa aja jadi ikut sebel sama si B. Tapi resikonya, pas si A sama si B baikan, bisa jadi gw sebelnya tetep. Gak banget kan? Makanya kalo urusan orang, emang bagusnya gak usah ikut jadi pikiran. Mind your own business,dude. (Jelas bukan berarti gak peduli. Tapi ala-ala psikiater aja, gak jadi urusan personal). Dannn… itu perlu latihan.

Balik lagi ke atas, semuanya dinamis. Berawal dari kekecewaan akan seorang teman, walaupun gw sangat berusaha untuk mengingat semua kebaikan dia, tapi selalu berujung pada kenyataan bahwa semua hal bisa berubah. Gak perlu kaget, heran, atau berharap berlebihan. Semua akan kembali pada penerimaan kita. Maka yang harus dibentuk adalah kesiapan menghadapi ketidakpastian. Begitupun sebaliknya. Gw harus menanamkan dalam-dalam di otak, bahwa orang yang pernah menyakiti gw, tidak secara otomatis pasti akan melakukan hal yang sama. Pikiran-pikiran negatif itu justru akan menghalangi gw untuk menerima kebaikan yang bisa dia kasih. Dan bisa sangat mengukung perasaan, terhantui oleh masa lalu.

Tetap positif, namun fleksibel. Setiap hari adalah hari yang baru. Bukan masalah, tapi fokus pada solusi. Semoga selalu bisa mengontrol diri.

Terbuka!

 

 

Disclosure: Ini adalah hasil repost dari http://hanirosidaini.blogspot.co.id/2012/09/resensi-buku-raditya-dika-marmut-merah.html untuk tujuan integrasi blog.

Hanya Jika Kau Mengerti

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Jalan ini semakin bercabang
Senja datang membawa bimbang
Hey, jangan dulu gelap! Aku tak bawa penerang
Nanti aku berpegangan pada siapa?

Namun akhirnya awan gelap datang
Tak peduli aku yang sedang sendirian
Kulangkahkan kaki walau perlahan
Suara orang-orang berlari terdengar dari kejauhan

18/10/12
Kamar. Di malam aku mulai tidak suka Path